Sunday, September 21, 2008,
my heart has shattered and i fell into a bottomless pit
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Labels: it felt like i was dead...im really deeply HURT...
Alone->Loneliness, Solitude->Solitary, Isolated
[5:13 AM]
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Friday, September 12, 2008,
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY Labels: no matter how many times i say... i know it wont be enough...
Alone->Loneliness, Solitude->Solitary, Isolated
[10:46 PM]
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008,
i feel like im a attention seeker?... haix...
recently i feel that every1 around me is starting to ignore me for some reasons... is just a feeling i have... but it seems like what i think is always true?... everybody is like treating me like some alien or something... i feel so ignored... and i like so no life... everyday have no activities... the bond i have with my friends seems to be like drifting apart... everything around me seems to be darker by days... i feel so alone... then every1 will start gossiping that im attracting attention from ppl? huh? so whatever... maybe they think im extra or what... just sense it that ppl don like me... cause i keep doing things that always attract ppl attention or whatsoever?... im just a straight forward person... if i think im not in the wrong i will oppose strongly?... cause i always have been magligned from young... family, teachers, friends... everything around me.... sometimes i really wonder... im here on earth just because im here?... i feel like i don have a special reason to my life... i feel so rejected by every1... maybe i will keep quiet and don be so noisy anymore?... just lead a simple life? with no activities... i will try to keep my mouth shut and take every scolding even if im not wrong... tears started falling off my eyes and roll down my cheeks when im writing all these... i just slited today again but i didnt use penknife thankz to a special some1... i thank u from the bottom of my heart... i try all sorts of way... but still... i cant solve my problems... i really wanted to jump down today... but i think i will jump down this year?... cause im like so rejected already... why everybody is like ignoring me... maybe i have offended them cause i too straight forward? i wan to say sorry to those i have offended unintentionally... or maybe is i done something that made them feel irritated... i really donno... but seriously... i wan to say sorry... i think the fault lies with me... but i donno unless some1 tell me... but if they don like me le how will they tell me?.. so its best to leave it like this?... i feel so rejected... but i wont blame them... cause its my fault anyway?... im at my ends now... i really cant stand this lonelines... i mean who will not be afraid to be alone... haix... if onli i was dead the moment i was born? if onli i have a more likable chracter? if onli i wasnt so irritating? if onli i would be more sensitive towards thier feeling? if onli everything was like a fantasy? if onli everything would be so peaceful? if onli i was a better person? if onli i was more popular?... i really wish that i wasnt here in the first place... i feel so empty... i feel so rejected... i feel so lonely... i shall be quiet person and don do things that ppl think that i desperately nid their attenton... cause im not seeking attention... i just wan someone or some ppl to concern me(but got a few le...)... i just nid to have a sense of belonging... is that so hard to ask for?... but however i still think the fault lies with me... so i would really wan to thank those ppl that had concerned me... and i would like to say sorry to those i had offended and that feels that im just a extra,calefare,attention seeker... and i would like to say sorry to everyone cause knowing me was the biggest mistake of your life... and i would thank everyone who treated me as their friend... and i would like to end this by saying... pls forgive me if i really jump off a building... i am truely sorry every1... esp those ppl that care for me and those who think im extra... sorry once again...
i will nvr regret jumping down... if that ever happens...
Alone->Loneliness, Solitude->Solitary, Isolated
[9:12 PM]
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Monday, September 1, 2008,
Dedicated this post to my 2 bros =D
the 2 bros of my i wan to dedicate this post is....
*drum rolls*
alvin and huning =D
they have always been there in times of my nids
they always lend their listening ears to me
they help me solve my problems
they encourage me from stop being emo. (LOL)
so i really wan to thank them =)
thankz you alvin and huning. i really appreciate u being my friend =D
so thats y i wan to help be cheer leader for u 2 for the senior spec course =)
HUNING~
JIAYOU~
HUNING~
JIAYOU~
HUNING HUNING HUNING~!
JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU~!
ALVIN~
JIAYOU~
ALVIN~
JIAYOU~
ALVIN ALVIN ALVIN~!
JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU~!
~
GOOD LUCK~!!!!
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u 2 nvr pass the course hor don come back liao. (LOLS , JK)
jiayou i know u 2 can do it de =)
put in ur best effort and do it!
don be scare or afraid
just do ur best and go forward!
good luck and have fun =D
Alone->Loneliness, Solitude->Solitary, Isolated
[12:20 AM]
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